Setting limits
The Profitable Way to Say No

Practitioners offer practical tips for making time for family while still providing great service to clients.

BY PAT TAYLOR

Eager to make clients happy, you agree to meet on Sundays, take calls until late into the evening, and cancel family commitments to conduct showings. Could it be that your clients are calling all the shots—and keeping you from having a life?

In your desire to increase your sales and provide great customer service, you may sometimes find it hard to draw the line on unreasonable requests, often to the detriment of time spent with your family and loved ones.

“When I was a new, hungry salesperson, I would let the clients dictate the time that I met with them,” says Caryn Simms, owner of Real Estate Teams LLC in Frederick, Md. “On one occasion, I let some clients push me into a time that was convenient for them, causing me to miss an important event in my 7-year-old daughter’s life. I choked back the tears, showed the house, and made the sale. But I was so upset about disappointing my daughter, I vowed never to let that happen again—and I haven’t.”

Does this sound like you? Do you find it difficult to say “no” to clients? Would you like to enjoy more time with your family without jeopardizing your sales goals? If so, here are some practical tips from Simms and other real estate practitioners—who have learned to balance their work and personal lives the hard way—to help you say “no” nicely to clients so you can make time for your personal commitments, but still provide quality service and increase your sales.

Schedule “Appointments” With Your Family

Many practitioners who have been successful in setting effective boundaries with clients recommend that you schedule your family first.

• Block off family appointments. “Everyone understands ‘appointments’ and the need to keep them,” says Judy Reimer, a sales associate with Keller Williams Realty Key Partners LLC in Prairie Village, Kan. “I make appointments with family, blocking time off just as I would for a client with a showing, inspection, closing, and so forth. When a client or prospect requests that time slot, I simply say ‘I am so sorry, I have an appointment I am committed to but I can do it at (XYZ time)’and give them an option of two other times I am available.”
  
  Simms does the same. “When someone wants to schedule an appointment, I simply say ‘Great, these are the times I am available. Which of these times works for you?’” says Simms. “Most people will respond just as they do for the doctor or hairdresser. I have even had clients that have chosen to work with me because of my family values!” Simms says she has not missed one of her children’s events since that incident and her business has only improved.
  
• Turn “no” into a positive. Jill Doppel, broker/owner of Ambassador Properties Inc. in Millbrook, N.Y., uses a similar approach. But after offering alternative times to meet, she adds, “That way, we can have a bit more timeto spend together because I don't want to be rushed, OK?” “BOOM. Magical,” Doppel says. “People suddenly see it as a positive. You, their real estate professional, are concerned about not having enough time with them, rather than appearing like you don't have enough timeforthem.”
  
• Put it in ink. “If my son has a ballgame, then on my Day-Timer, I put an X in that time slot—in INK,” says Linda McLean, GRI, manager of Coldwell Banker/Landmark, REALTORS® in Parkersburg, W.Va. If a client wants to meet at that time, McLean simply says, “I have another appointment at that time.”

Avoid Having to Say “No”

Many practitioners have developed techniques to set the tone with their clients in the beginning of their relationship, so they are less likely to find themselves in situations where they have to say no.

• Set boundaries up front. Teri Sherrow, CIPS, GRI, owner/broker of International Real Estate Services LLC on Maui, Hawaii, lets her clients know from the beginning when she is not available. “There are no surprises,” Sherrow says. “They appreciate that.”
  
• Educate your clients. “I always try to educate my clients, which includes letting them know that they are not my only clients,” says Julie Fischer, ABR®, GRI, a sales associate with Beth Wolff, REALTORS®, in Houston. “I also explain that I will not take calls on my cell phone while talking with them. So they must understand that if they call and I don’t answer the phone, it’s because I’m with another client and I’m giving them the same respect.”
  
• “Introduce” your family to your clients. In her first meeting with new clients, Jennifer L. Bond, ABR®, a salesperson with Coldwell Banker Heritage, REALTORS®, in Dayton, Ohio, introduces herself not only as a real estate professional but also as a person. She "introduces" her family, and briefly gives the ages of her children. She lets clients know up front the best times and the best ways to reach her. Then she says, “I am away from my family frequently at night and on the weekends. I've made a commitment to them that I will be accessible to them when they need me. I would like to ask your permission to keep my cell phone on to accept calls from them if necessary. In return, I commit to you the same courtesy of accessibility. I'll provide you with all of my contact numbers so that you can reach me when you need me. Would that be fair?”

Accentuate the Positive

Instead of taking the “I don’t work on Sundays” approach or focusing on what you are unwilling to do, reinforce what you can commit to do—be it showings, an open house, distributing flyers, or whatever the marketing plan may be, says Marianne Witt, a salesperson with Haring Realty Inc. in Mansfield, Ohio.

• Ask your clients if you can call them at the office. One tool that Jenny Paschall, branch manager of Prudential California Realty in Encinitas, Calif., has found very useful is simply asking your clients if you may call them at the office and asking if they are available during the week to look at property. During the first meeting, Paschall asks, “Are you comfortable with my calling you at the office?” or “Do you have a work number where I can call you?”
  
  “By asking the question, you set the tone that your business relationship (business relationship!) will be conducted during business hours if at all possible,” Paschall says. “We make a mistake in thinking that because we are in the business of selling people’s homes, it has to be done when they’re not at work. You will be surprised how many people are able to conduct business with you during the day, during the week. These, by the way, also are the clients who most respect your profession and value you as their trusted real estate adviser.”
  
• Smile. A sincere “No, thank you, I’m really sorry I can’t (whatever)” said with a smile can work magic, saysSuzanne Rowe, sales associate with RE/MAX Avenue in Ferndale, Mich.

Deal With Unreasonable Clients

No matter how good you are at setting limits and managing clients’ expectations, you’ll still have some clients who will make unreasonable requests that conflict with your personal life. What’s the most effective way to say no to these unreasonable clients?

• Turn the tables. If the client insists on meeting at a time when she has scheduled time with her family, Michele Daigle, GRI, broker/owner of Real Property Realty in North Palm Beach, Fla., says, "I have had this appointment for weeks, and if I had it with you, I wouldn't just ditch you for someone else. Can we schedule another time?"
  
• Use the "crisis of tyranny" rule. David Hutton, a salesperson with Southern Traditions Real Estate Group in Aiken, S.C., falls back on the "crisis of tyranny" rule, which states: "Will they be handing me a check? Unless they are, am I willing to break my appointment with my family?" If clients have the attitude of "do it now or else," Hutton tells them, "I'm sorry, I must beg your indulgence and refer you to another salesperson in my office."

If All Else Fails

Most people will understand and respect the fact that you need a family life, says Tari Torch Sweeney, ABR®, a salesperson with Prudential Select Properties in Pepper Pike, Ohio. “I do stop working with people, though, that stop respecting my time and life,” she says. “They aren't necessarily people you want to work with anyway.”

Sometimes you have to lose a deal to maintain the proper balance in your life. In the long run, you’ll be happier for it and may find that the professionalism garners you more business.

Additional Resources

Field Guide to Family Time, REALTOR.org

Field Guide to Balancing Work & Family Life , REALTOR.org

FamilyTime DVD
The NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS® offers this interactive DVD celebrating the family. FamilyTime provides support and suggestions for spending quality time with your family members.