REALTOR® Magazine-Daily News-Don't Let Emotions Ruin Negotiations

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Daily Real Estate News | November 17, 2009 | Don't Let Emotions Ruin Negotiations
Representing clients in real estate transactions may not be quite as emotionally charged as handling hostage negotiations or helping warring nations diffuse long-standing conflicts, but there are parallels. During his Entrepreneurial Excellence remarks at the 2009 NAR Conference & Expo Friday, Daniel Shapiro, director of the Harvard International Negotiation Program, identified important ways that misunderstood emotions can hinder real estate negotiations.

"Clients often move because of major landmarks in life—divorce, marriage, birth, death. Even when those life events aren't involved, there may be financial stress or fear of committing to a property," Shapiro says. "It's best to be removed from those client emotions."

Shapiro says practitioners should focus on five core emotional concerns in client dealings:

Appreciation: Do you let your clients be heard? Do you really listen to their concerns and what they are looking for in a property? If you don’t appreciate your customers and they don’t appreciate you, then you’re creating bad business.

Autonomy: Allow your client to make the important decisions. He believes lines such as “Buy this house now” will push clients away. They need to be in the driver’s seat in terms of the purchase or sale while practitioners provide expert advice.

Affiliation: When meeting with a new client or co-worker, try to create common ground with them with at least three shared connections. Did you go to the same school? Root for the same sports team? Enjoy a common restaurant?

Status: Don’t act like you’re always “on top.” Take turns with your client in terms of who’s leading the relationship. When showing homes, you can lead by be being the driver. When getting close to making the sale, let the client lead. Don’t get competitive about maintaining the higher role.

Roles: Practitioners need to play different roles through process: housing expert, emotional consultant, devil’s advocate, and more. Make sure you recognize your changing role in order to fulfill your clients’ variety of needs.

For Eddie Perez, GRI, an associate broker with Robert De Ruggiero Inc. in Hoboken, N.J., the main takeaway for the session was the importance of appreciation. “I’m in a negotiation right now where the other practitioner is not responding to my counteroffer for a sale. I believe if I told her that I understand her seller’s position, I would have a response. I’ll take a step back now when I negotiate.”

—Katherine Tarbox, REALTOR® magazine