Are You Ready for More?

Should You Get a Mentor?

BY DIRK ZELLER

Katherine Graham, the late owner and publisher of The Washington Post, said her mentor was Warren Buffet, chairman of Berkshire Hathaway. Steven Leveen, co-founder and president of Levenger, said his mentor was Stanley Marcus, chairman emeritus of Neiman Marcus. Who’s your mentor?

Talk to any notable businessperson, and they probably had a mentor. In fact, aside from your spouse, your parents, and your children, it may become one of the most important relationships in your life. Mentors help you define your personal and professional philosophies, develop skills and abilities, and provide counsel as you lay out your plans. An effective mentor should be an outstanding role model whose guidance you are honored to follow—someone you’d like to emulate. It is a completely honest relationship with someone willing to show you the ropes, help you to understand your goals, and assist you in developing the plans to achieve those goals.

Selecting a mentor should be a deliberate process that takes into account that person’s success, character, and the common ground the two of you hold. What’s more, you want to learn from someone who not only is the best at what they do, but who has succeeded with intelligence and integrity.

It’s also important to realize that mentoring is a two-way relationship, where there are interests and aspirations you share. You benefit from the mentor’s counsel, ideas, and life experiences; they benefit from the process of teaching and sharing. A true mentor will take satisfaction from seeing you achieve your potential. A truly caring and skilled mentor doesn’t look at you for what you are now, but sees what you will be and understands the role they can play in helping your realize your dreams.

But understand that a mentor’s time is valuable, their attention is sought after, and their interest is not to be taken lightly. Mentors became successful by exercising good judgment, and it’s up to you to make sure their investment in you is worthwhile. They are looking to help people who are driven to succeed. They are looking for passion, commitment, and willingness to learn.

Finding a Mentor

Once you’ve realized that securing a mentor is a professional development strategy that would benefit you, it’s sometimes awkward to go about identifying what you’re looking for in a mentor and how to approach the best person for you. But like everything else, a plan will help you along. One thing to keep in mind: one person may not have all the background, skills, and perspectives you’re looking for in a mentor. But no one said you could only have one mentor. Have several. You’ll benefit from the diversity of experiences and viewpoints they offer.

• Look for a good fit. Consider your strengths and weaknesses and define how a mentor might guide you. Be honest about your personality type and communication styles. Look to people you admire for not only what they’ve done, but how they did it. Look for a mentor whom you can learn from, not someone whom you feel comfortable with because they’re just like you. A mentoring relationship is about growth and change, not validation that you’re doing everything right.
  
• Focus your criteria. Define exactly what are you looking for in a mentor, and have a clear understanding of what you want to realize from the relationship. Are you looking for someone experienced in starting a business or a particular type of business? Someone with experience in a certain field or profession, or in dealing with certain types of situations like office politics, raising money for a nonprofit, or sitting on a community board? Or are you looking for technical expertise like writing, sales skills, or construction design? If you lack experience in something or need guidance in how to improve, look for someone who has demonstrated excellence in that area.
  
• Foster strong communications. In essence, mentors are master teachers and as such have strong communications skills. They actually enjoy teaching and are very good at developing relationships. They know how to build rapport with people, and one important part of that is listening. Successful mentors know how to get below the surface of what you’re saying and help you concentrate on what you mean. At the same time, they are able to share their views, ideas, and critiques with you constructively, positively, and with integrity.
  
  To help you determine which of the potential mentors you’ve identified would best suit your needs, you should ask them the following questions:
  
• What are the essential skills to achieve peak performance in real estate sales? The keyword here is “skills” and the question will assess prospective mentors’ knowledge of real estate sales. They understand it’s more than “You have to like being around people.” The answer includes insightful information about prospecting, scripts, effective lead follow-up techniques, managing revenue, and controlling expenses.
  
• What are some of the obstacles I’m going to face? Look for someone who is several levels above your experience, but not the most experienced person in the company. The most experienced person might have been at it so long that he or she can’t remember what it was like for a rookie. You need someone to help you identify obstacles you’ll encounter in today’s real estate market and has real-time experience in overcoming challenges.
  
• What resources are available that will better ensure my growth and success? Working with a mentor exclusively is not the answer to improving your skills. Look to them for guidance on books, tapes, scripts, coaching, workshops, seminars, professional associations, professional development opportunities—anything that could be of help and interest to you in moving forward in your development. Their recommendations could be an interesting new bestseller about leadership or a suggestion that you join a local Toastmasters club to build confidence in your speaking abilities.
  
• What experiences have helped you develop the desired skills to excel? This should be one of the most interesting conversations you have with potential mentors. What were the most interesting challenges and opportunities they faced that help them build their focus, work habits, and judgment? Did they have a mentor who helped them reach certain goals and the next level of success? What are the most amazing successes they’ve enjoyed and most dismal failures they’ve survived?
  
• Why did you decide to enter real estate? They will likely share a little of their personal history and philosophy about life that led them to a career in real estate. Was their driving interest the profession itself, the flexible schedules, the potential for “big money”? The answer will tell you a lot about their values.
  
• What are your goals and how do you plan to achieve them? If your potential mentor can answer this question with a clear explanation of his or her goals and well thought-out plan, then you know you’ve found the right person because that’s exactly the approach to your new career that you should develop.
  
• How can I help you achieve your goals? The other person might not be expecting your offer but will likely see the value of engaging you in their aspirations. After all, you’ll learn more by helping them than you will by tackling projects on your own.
  
• Can I share my goals with you? What do you think of my goals? Will you help me achieve them? This is the crux of the conversation. The answers to these questions will give you the feedback you need—about your goals, about the potential mentor’s willingness to get involved, and about his or her ability to effectively guide you. You will quickly learn if he or she is right for you. The person either has a passion to invest in others or doesn’t.
  
  A Final Word About Mentors
  
  Finding a mentor must be a deliberate and conscious process for you. But engaging someone to be your mentor is not always as straightforward as marching into his or her office and asking, “Will you be my mentor?” Mentoring often implies a huge commitment to people, and the person you choose may not even understand exactly what you’re asking. So, consider taking a more indirect approach with someone you think you can learn from but who might not be comfortable with the label.
  
  Think of it in terms of building a relationship with someone you admire and respect. Be confident in asking potential mentors to join you for lunch or coffee and be sincere in telling them how much you admire them and how much you think you can learn from them. Be generous with your thanks and share how valuable their advice has been, and use this as an opportunity to ask for counsel again. Make sure your mentors know they are helping you better define your goals and shape your plans, and that you appreciate their interest. At some point, you may even thank them for being great mentors to you and they’ll be surprised to hear you use that word.
  
  Source: Adapted from Your First Year in Real Estate by Dirk Zeller (Prima Lifestyles, 2001)
  
  Dirk Zeller is a speaker, trainer, coach, and author of Your First Year in Real Estate(Prima Lifestyles, 2001). He is the CEO of Real Estate Champions, a coaching company based in Bend, Ore.