I'd Like to Disconnect My Ear
Bruce Dolder, a salesperson with Lyon & Associates, REALTORS^®, Roseville, Calif., was trapped on the phone with a windbag. He listened patiently as the prospect prattled on, but he was easily distracted when he spotted a fly. He whacked the critter with a file folder and realized he'd also hit the phone, disconnecting the caller.

He immediately called the person back to apologize but got a busy signal. Then when he started punching the buttons looking for an open line, he heard the prospect's voice. She was still talking and had no idea Dolder had been off the line for almost a minute.

Dolder sat back and awaited the arrival of another fly. --Elyse Umlauf-Garneau

Why Call When You Can Meet in Person?
Ever have a phone conversation that went on ad infinitum? Andy Stetelman, GRI, of London & Stetelman Commercial, REALTORS^®, Hattiesburg, Miss., recently got a call that wouldn't end even after he had hung up.

"A long-winded client called me while I was driving back to my office," Stetelman says. "Once I'd parked at my office, I stayed in my car, out of courtesy, and listened to him for another 15 minutes."

Finally Stetelman walked into his office, only to find his client sitting by a phone, which he'd used to track down Stetelman. --Christina Hoffmann Spira

Newbie Blues
Army lieutenant Quincy G. Ryan III knew he was talking to a newbie when he got a cold call at his army base at Fort Riley, Kan.

"I've sold several homes in your area, and I'm wondering whether you'd be interested in selling your home."

"Thanks, but I live on base. It's owned by the Army," said Ryan, whose mother, Nancy Ryan, is president and broker of Jubilee Real Estate Services Inc., Colorado Springs, Colo.

"That's fine," said the newbie. "We can do VA financing."

What a Difference a Letter Can Make
Jim Kenny, of Landry, Lyons & Whyte Co.-Better Homes and Gardens, Palmer, Mass., was helping his friend Bob get started in the real estate business, and Bob was familiarizing himself with expired listings. When he discovered that a certain person, Mr.Wit Held, had many expired listings, Bob tried to find the man's phone number to contact him.

The name sounded odd to Kenny, and he asked to see the listings. Then he saw that the name was really "withheld," as in "not disclosed."

You Mean Hot Water Is Included?
It's amazing how tolerant some people are.

Diana Williams, a salesperson with RE/MAX Real Estate, Tehachapi, Calif., says a homeowner in a new subdivision called a builder Williams was working with and said she wished she'd paid a little extra for one of the options her neighbor had.

The builder asked what option she was talking about.

"Hot water," she replied. The builder patiently told her she had the same option: All she had to do was get the gas to her house turned on.

Stroke of Brilliance
Fred Kortepeter, broker with Sycamore Group, REALTORS^®, Indianapolis, has received his share of oddball messages in the 32 years he's been in real estate.

He heard this from a past buyer: "Sixteen years ago you sold us a house and gave us a key to the front door. We lost that key, and I was wondering whether you have another one. If not, do you have any idea how we could get into our house?"

Kortepeter called back and suggested she call a locksmith. Her reply: "I knew you'd have the answer. If we ever think of selling, we'll call you." --Christina Hoffmann Spira

Hefty Withdrawal
As we gathered around the conference table for the closing, the attorney looked at the buyers and asked who was going to write the check. The buxom woman asked, “How much money do you want?” “Seventy-five hundred dollars would be fine,” I replied.

“All right,” she said and pulled her sweater up to her neck. “Into the bank,” she exclaimed as she pulled out a large roll of bills from her brassiere. “Back into the bank,” she said as she lifted the sweater again and redeposited what was left of the roll.

Nobody showed any reaction. We were all stunned. But after all the documents had been signed, the other salesperson and I escaped to the office rest room and cracked up. Even now, years later, we laugh when people mention going to the bank. And I wonder whether they plan to drive to it or dive into it.
Jean Totten Moon
Gertrude Gardner Inc., REALTORS^®
New Orleans

Operator, Get Me My Beeper
Less than two weeks after I had bought my portable cellular phone, I was out showing a 30-acre waterfront lot. The buyers wanted to walk every inch of the land, much of which had thick underbrush, and the entire 1,300-foot shoreline.

On my way home, I noticed that my beeper was missing. Obviously, it had fallen off my belt sometime during our arduous exploration. My cellular phone came to the rescue. I returned to the site and began to retrace my steps while frequently calling my beeper. In no time, I located my beeper—nowhere near where I had thought it would be.

Thank goodness it wasn’t a vibrating beeper.
Rondy Alstrom
RE/MAX Brokers Inc.
Easton, Md.

High-Tech High Jinks
Some potential sellers invited me to evaluate their home and make a listing presentation. They said I’d be competing against other top salespeople.

After I had called the sellers, our phone lines were somehow linked. Thanks to some technological quirk, all their calls were diverted to my number. For a couple of days until the snafu was corrected, I accepted calls and relayed messages to members of the large family.

Needless to say, no other salesperson could reach the sellers without chatting with me first. I got the listing. If only I could duplicate that listing technique every time!
Marcy Ballew
Metro Brokers, M. Ballew and Associates
Englewood, Colo.

Cut Your Teeth on Cold Calling
Would a videophone help your cold-calling efforts? Broker-owner Jenny Caudill, RE/MAX-The Mountain Co., Jasper, Ga., might be willing to consider installing one after a call by one of her
salespeople.

"The salesperson reached someone who sounded like a child, so she asked to speak to the person's mother," Caudill says. "The person said, 'Excuse me?' so the salesperson again asked for the person's mommy. The person then responded, 'I'm 80 years old. I can hardly talk because I'm not wearing my teeth.'" --Christina Hoffmann Spira

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