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OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS®



  Prepackaged Sales Meetings
Facilitator Resources

 		  

Open Houses

General Business

Guerilla Marketing

Buyers . . . Beware

Sorry, Right Number

Showing Nightmares

Wit, Wisdom, and Sarcasm

Property Management Issues

Life with Animals

The Darndest Things

Mistaken Identities

Home Improvement

Cops!

Car Trouble

More Resources:

Running Great Meetings

Facilitator References 		  Humorous Anecdotes: Showing Nightmares

Elvis Lives
There is at least one true Elvis believer in Temple, Pa.

Steve Cuzner, a salesperson with Century 21-Call First, was showing a house decorated from top to bottom with Elvis memorabilia.

When he commented to the owner that it was ironic that the bathroom--the room where Elvis died--was the only space without mementos, she glared at him and replied sternly, "That's if you believe he died."

Sale Was Getting Out of Hand
No one knows about marital strife like a salesperson who's involved in a divorce sale.

Loretta Stanley, a Nashua, N.H., salesperson with Prudential Crain Realty, encountered a real War of the Roses (Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner style) when a prospect doing a walk-through tested the plumbing.

The woman turned on the shower full blast, and the faucet blew off into her hand. She was drenched and had no way of shutting off the water.

It turns out one of the warring spouses selling the house had sabotaged the plumbing.

Bet Stanley steered the prospect away from testing the gas range.

Could You Be More Frank?
After a showing, Rudy Cox, of Rudy Cox Inc., REALTORS®, Roanoke, Va., asked a prospect what she thought of the home.

The woman responded dryly, "There are two things I don't like--the inside and the outside."

Monkey See, Monkey Do
There's a reason real estate professionals want prospects to ride with them.

Jean Roberts, a salesperson with RE/MAX-Northwest, Marietta, Ga., was working with a family looking at new houses.

After a final walk-through, Jean and the prospects drove in separate cars to the sales office to start the purchase paperwork.

Arriving at the office, the prospects' young son leaped from the car, ran up to the salesperson, and announced, "My parents are here to make a really lowball offer on lot 30."

Silver Tongue
Patty McLemore slipped away from an embarrassing moment with her quick wit. The Texoma Realty salesperson of Wichita Falls, Texas, was showing an investment property to two men she'd never met. As she stretched to open a lockbox she could barely reach, her slip fell to her ankles.

She paused, stepped out of the slip, slung it over her shoulder, and said boldly, "This is absolutely the only thing coming off the price on this property."

They bought the property at full price and requested no seller concessions.--Christina Hoffmann Spira

Sticky Pants
When Sharon Donovan arrived at a showing with some prospects, the seller handed her toddler to the Quincy, Mass.--based Coldwell Banker--Hunneman & Co. salesperson so that the seller could shake hands with the customers. Then the seller motioned the group upstairs to start the tour.

Still holding the baby, Donovan asked, "Where do you want me to put her?"

"Just put her down, here in the kitchen," the mother said. "She'll be fine." Donovan told the little girl to stay put.

After the tour, everyone reassembled in the kitchen and noticed that the little girl hadn't moved an inch and was happily playing with some Tupperware. Donovan was so impressed with this good behavior that she asked the little girl for a hug. The baby moved as if to get up but hesitated.

This went on a few minutes before anyone realized the baby's diaper had become glued to the stick-on tile floor.

"We all laughed so hard we almost needed diapers, too," Donovan recalls.--Christina Hoffmann Spira

Stranded!
Jennifer A. Menegas was showing homes to a woman previewing them for her husband's future medical associate. The woman had her 4-year-old daughter in tow.

During the tour of the last home, Menegas, a salesperson with Tomlinson-Black Real Estate, Lewiston, Idaho, was showing the balcony off the master suite, when the 4-year-old dutifully shut the balcony door behind them. "I hoped the door didn't lock automatically," says Menegas, "but, of course, it did."

There were no stairs; it was 3 p.m., so no neighbors were home; and two black Labrador retrievers positioned themselves under the balcony barking furiously.

The women futilely called for help. Finally Menegas distracted the dogs and helped the prospect climb down.

Once everyone was rescued, Menegas wondered whether she'd ever hear from the woman again. "Evidently, she still had confidence in me," Menegas says. "I sold her husband's medical associate his first home soon after."--Elyse Umlauf-Garneau

Added Protection for Buyers
I was showing a cute, young couple some homes in a nice neighborhood, and we found a house they really wanted to see.

But when we got out of the car, we saw a condom lying on the ground in front of us. I was embarrassed and at a loss for words. Fortunately, the man just smiled at his wife and me and said, “Well, I guess this is a safe neighborhood.” And, yes, they bought the home.
Glenda Noyes
Realty Executives
Vista, Calif.

Fateful Fall?
When I became a real estate salesperson eight years ago, I really thought I had beginner’s luck. The first month, I listed 21 condominiums in a complex owned by an out-of-state bank. However, three months later, I was afraid my luck was running out.

Four of the bank officials came to meet me and to inspect the property. As we were walking through the parking lot, which was located on a heavily traveled street, the heel of my shoe caught in my dangling briefcase strap. As I fell, my skirt flew up, and I scraped my hands and my pride on the asphalt.

Trying to recover from the situation as professionally as possible, I looked up at the bank officials and said, “See…I kept my promise. I told you I’d do anything to stop traffic to get people to notice this property.” The bank officials kept the listings with me, and shortly afterward, four of the units sold.
Barbara Brown
Realty Executives Suncoast
St. Petersburg, Fla.

Securing the Sale
When I rang the front doorbell to show some buyers a home, nobody answered, so we just walked in. But after showing the property, I noticed that the sellers were sitting on the back patio enjoying the cool weather.

Since I didn’t want to startle them, I went out on the patio to let them know we were there. When I went back inside, I locked the patio door behind me and showed the buyers the entire house once more. And as we were leaving, I locked the front door.

The next morning, the sellers called me. I started to tell them how the showing had gone, but that wasn’t why they called. They said they wanted to tell me that I had locked them out of their house. I immediately apologized. But they just chuckled and said that they had been laughing about it all day.

They said that once they realized what I had done, they decided that I must a conscientious salesperson to have locked the door out of habit.
Laura J. Ritchie
WHY USA—Kitchen, REALTOR
Palm Desert, Calif.

A Snag in the Showing
For months I anxiously awaited the arrival of the out-of-town buyers. I desperately wanted to make a good impression because it was going to be my biggest transaction yet.

The husband arrived first, and one home I showed him was still under construction. Unfortunately, it was an extremely windy morning, and as I stepped outside, a gust of wind blew my long skirt, which got caught on an old ladder by the door.

Not knowing my skirt was caught, I continued down the stairs. Suddenly I heard a rip. I turned around nervously and saw a two-foot tear in my skirt.

Fortunately, the tear didn’t sever my relationship with the buyer. He simply smiled and said, “Wait until my wife hears about this!”
Kim Courson
Coldwell Banker—Jim Courson Realty Co.
Martinez, Ga.

Getting a Feel for the Place
The listing salesperson assured me that the electricity would be on in a house I was to show at 8:00 P.M., so I didn’t bring a flashlight. But the electricity was off.

When we went inside, the buyer said he’d be right back. I heard him slapping the walls as he made his way around the house. After about five minutes, he bumped back into me and said, “Okay, I want to make an offer.”

“But you didn’t even see the house,” I said.

“I know,” he said, “but it feels good to me.”
Joe O’Ski
Brokers Realty, Inc.
Colorado Springs, Colo.

A Therapeutic Showing
One day during my first month in real estate, in 1956, I spent several hours showing houses to a couple. The husband was abusive and critical of everything I did. As we arrived at yet another property after a 20-minute drive, the wife said, “Let’s go back now, John.”

I asked whether they would at least take a look at the home, since we had traveled so far to see it. “It doesn’t matter,” she replied. “John’s psychiatrist says it’s good therapy for John to look at real estate for about six hours from time to time, and his time is up.”
Don Jensen
Myers Realty
Hackensack, Minn.

It was a Dark and Stormy Showing
Being a weather spotter for the National Weather Service, I’ll willingly brave the elements for a sale. In fact, while showing homes to buyers during a tremendous thunderstorm, I commented that we might see a tornado. Just then I noticed a funnel cloud.

I stopped at a public phone to call the NWS, and soon the Emergency Broadcast System was sounding a warning on the radio. Unfortunately, the buyers (apparently braver than even I) were determined to look at the next house.

When we got there, the power had been knocked out, but the owner lent us flashlights. The buyers fell in love with the house and made an offer the next day.
C. Mark Edgerton II
Coldwell Banker—Schlott, REALTORS®
Hackettstown, N.J.

The Showing Dripped with Humor
After touring a house, the buyer and I went out on the deck. During our chat, I took a step backward, inadvertently falling into the hot tub.

I wasn’t hurt, but I was embarrassed. I got out and tried to wring the water out of my clothes. As I continued to point out the property’s advantages, the buyer smirked and said, “Who’s going to listen to you? You’re all wet.” I had the last laugh, though. She bought the house.
Linnea Wachtler
Old Ghent Realty
Ghent, N.Y.

Frivolity Lightens Up a Showing
One evening I drove a couple and their children to see a house. By the time we arrived, darkness had fallen, and the outside lights were off. Since I carried a small flashlight, I could open the lockbox without a problem. But when I opened the door, I discovered that all the power had been turned off. Except for the illumination provided by two small flashlights, the five of us proceeded to look at the home in total darkness.

The couple called the next morning and asked to see the home again. When they showed up in broad daylight, they were holding large flashlights—and their youngest child was carrying a lantern.
Lee Enemark
Selzer Realty
Ukiah, Calif.

Break into a Listing
My office manager and I had a listing appointment at 10:00 A.M. We knocked, but there was no answer. We knocked again and heard a banging noise. Still, no one answered the front door.

We walked to the back of the house and discovered the problem. The homeowner was locked in her bathroom—she had been trapped there for almost an hour. Her daughter-in-law lived around the corner, so we raced over to get a spare house key.

Once inside, we found that the bathroom door wouldn’t budge. I found a hammer and a screwdriver and passed them to the homeowner through the bathroom window. She knocked out the hinge pins, and I pounded down the door.

While I held the door as a shield, she ran to her room and changed out of her nightgown. Finally, we began our presentation. And, yes, we did get the listing.
Mike Stern
Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate
Evanston, Ill.

The Demise of a Potential Sale
While showing a property in Burke, Va., I took the prospective buyer out to see the yard. “I love this yard, but I don’t think my wife would want to live next to a church, especially one with a cemetery,” he said.

Even though the property backed up to a small graveyard and a Civil War—era church, I assured him that it couldn’t be an active cemetery and that all the graves were more than 100 years old.

The next week, while we were showing his wife the yard, he motioned for me to look over the back fence. There was a freshly dug grave and a funeral service in progress.

Needless to say, I didn’t make a sale that day.
Freddie McPhee
John L. Scott Real Estate
Gig Harbor, Wash.

You Always Remember Your First
I had been in the business only two weeks when my mother, a salesperson in my office, went on vacation. I received an offer on one of her listings and met with the sellers to present it.

I borrowed my mom’s briefcase, but when I arrived at the appointment, I realized I didn’t know the code to the briefcase’s combination lock. The sellers were looking at me as if it were a bad joke, and I silently prayed that the ground would open and swallow me up.

After I had borrowed a screw driver and pried open the case, locking up the offer was a cinch.
Lori Raschilla
Myers Realty, Inc.
Gardnerville, Nev.

Less Than Six Degrees of Separation
Problem with touchy situations is, you're never prepared to anticipate them.

Salesperson Felicia Grady, of Realty Executives--Canyon Country, Santa Clarita, Calif., agreed to help her friend Patty find a home for Patty's new boyfriend, Rick. ''As Rick and I began a tour of one home, I immediately felt a rush of embarrassment as I realized that, unbeknownst to me, the seller was related to Patty's previous boyfriend. There on the wall was a portrait of Patty hugging her ex-boyfriend,'' Grady recalls. She hoped Rick wouldn't notice the picture, but it was inevitable.

Straight-faced, he said, ''I'm not interested in this house, but could you show me more homes with Patty's picture on the wall?'' --Christina Hoffmann Spira

Humor, next page >