In the Trenches captures the odd and funny incidents that invariably happen in real estate. Here are the stories submitted this month from real estate professionals all over the country. When you're done reading, submit your own story.

An Innocent Question

While previewing waterfront homes for out-of-town clients, I called to make an appointment with the owner of one of homes. The listing identified the owner’s first name as “Gay,” and the answering machine that picked up said, “Hi, this is Gay. Please leave a message after the tone.” I left a message and proceeded to preview the home. Two days later, I called back to set the showing appointment and received the same message. While the prospective buyers were looking at the home, I noticed photos of an attractive blonde woman that I assumed was Gay.

We concluded the showing and were standing in the street in front of the home discussing how wonderful it was. I looked up the street and saw an attractive blonde woman riding in a brand new golf cart. In mere seconds, I deduced that this was the owner. I said to the buyers, “Here she comes!”

As the woman approached, smiling at us, I called out loudly, “Are you Gay?”

She yelled, “No!” and pushed down on the accelerator on her golf cart. The buyers began laughing. It took me about 30 seconds to realize what had happened. I only wish I could have explained.

—John R. Johnson, e-PRO, a sales associate with Tarbell, REALTORS®, in Temecula Valley, Calif.

Stepping Into Trouble

I was showing a vacant property to some clients one beautiful afternoon, and a sign was posted at the entrance asking us to please remove our shoes. Even though the weather was fine and our shoes were clean, we still removed them because that is what the sign asked. When we got to the deck off the back of the house, I noticed some not-so-little dog droppings in several spots next to the gazebo. Naturally, this was not a good showing point. I stopped to remind the buyers of the things they liked about the property before they saw the mess — only to realize that I was now standing in some not-so-little dog droppings in my bare feet! Needless to say, my clients did not buy that home.

—Linda Joy Sala, a sales associate with Century 21 New Heritage in Hampshire, Ill.

I Believe This Belongs to You

I was meeting a client in an unfamiliar town to accompany him to open houses. I got to the first house 30 minutes early, parked my car, and went in the home to preview it. Upon coming out of the house to wait for my client, I realized I could not find my car keys. I retraced my steps in a state of panic. When my client arrived, I laughed off misplacing my keys and suggested we take his car and get going for the day. He agreed with the plan. I felt tremendous relief to have gotten away with something so stupid, and figured that I would deal with the keys later. Before we departed I went back to my car, which was unlocked, and I ducked into it to retrieve some materials. As I reached into the car I brushed the top of my head on the car door, but I didn’t think anything of it.

After I got into my client’s car, another car pulled up beside us and started honking at my parked car. I blushed and murmured to my client that the guy will just have to park somewhere else. But the man in the car kept blowing his horn and pointing to the middle of the street. My client finally got out of the car and walked over to the middle of the street, where he picked something up. Unfortunately, it wasn’t my keys — when he got back to his car, he calmly handed me my faux hair piece. He laughed good-naturedly with me, or possibly at me, as I reattached my hair. After I survived two embarrassing situations, we finally took off for a day of open houses.

—MaryAnn Caulfield, a sales associate with Coldwell Banker Residential in Deerfield, Ill.

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