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|  Open Houses General Business Guerilla Marketing Buyers . . . Beware Sorry, Right Number Showing Nightmares Wit, Wisdom, and Sarcasm Property Management Issues Life with Animals The Darndest Things Mistaken Identities Home Improvement Cops! Car Trouble More Resources: Running Great Meetings Facilitator References | Humorous Anecdotes: General Business How Special Can It Be? You're not the only one who loses enthusiasm for real estate every now and then. Catch the reaction of the six-year-old daughter of a colleague of Teddy N. Brown, a practitioner with Professional Touch Realty, Cocoa Beach, Fla., when her mother talked up a visit to the White House. "No way. I look at homes every day with you, and I'm not going to look at a single one on my vacation." Did She Lose Her Marbles? To pinch a few pennies, a buyer who was purchasing a property from Tina M. Newman, a salesperson with Prudential Prime Properties-Fitzpatrick Real Estate, Millbury, Mass., decided his boss-mentor-friend should perform the home inspection. He argued that the woman had owned several properties and was much more capable than some learn-by-mail inspector. His friend arrived empty-handed—no screwdriver, checklist, ladder, thermometer, or pen and paper. Noticing a look of uneasiness on the inspector's face, Newman asked whether something was wrong. The response: "I forgot my marble. How will I ever know whether the floors are level?" It's a Small World--Too Small Randle Forcher, a salesperson with Texoma Realty, Wichita Falls, Texas, asked a prospect who was about to sign a contract for a new house where he worked. The prospect said, "I'm with XYZ company." "What a small world!" said Forcher. "I just sold a house to the new manager there." The prospect, with some apprehension, said, "I'm the manager of XYZ." When Forcher called back later in the day, he discovered his hot prospect had been fired. --Elyse Umlauf-Garneau Bailing Out a Sale I had shown a particular couple several properties, and as we were preparing to complete a contract for the home they wanted, a record-breaking storm delayed the final inspection and the signing of the contract. The next morning as I drove the buyers to inspect the property, we came to a dip in the road that had become a small fjord. My car died at the highest level of the puddle, and water seeped into the car. The husband worried that his new alligator-skin shoes would be damaged. As an emergency measure, I used my only pad of contracts to bail out the water until I could flag someone down to pull us out. We finally reached the home as another buyer prepared to purchase it. My competition was filing out a contract on the hood of his car, and I was caught without a dry contract. As best as I could, I completed a soggy contract, which the couple signed. As soon as they were dry and happy in their new home, they thanked me for my resourcefulness. Rosemarie McGowan Rosemarie McGowan Realty, Inc. Scottsdale, Ariz. Once an Athlete, Always an Athlete A woman called and asked to see one of my listings. When I arrived at the home, I found a lovely woman in her late sixties dressed in high heels, a long skirt, and a lot of jewelry. We walked through the home and out to the enclosed back porch. Once we stepped onto the porch, I realized that the door locked behind us, and I didn’t have the key to the padlocked door leading outside. Before I knew it, the woman peeled back a porch screen, hiked up her skirt, and took a giant leap out to freedom. I watched her dash around to the front door, which was fortunately unlocked. When she came back into the house to rescue me, she announced, “I love this home. Where do I sign? Pamela Knoll Jean’s Realty, Inc. Commerce City, Colo. A Helpful Bedside Manner When I sold one of my listings, the sellers said they’d leave two beds in the house when they left. But when the buyers moved in, the beds were gone, so they called me and asked what had happened to them. I called the sellers, and they said they had simply changed their minds, completely disregarding the contract. Ironically, another salesperson called me and asked whether I knew anyone who’d like a free bed. I jumped at the offer. So my husband and I climbed into our pickup truck to get the bed and take it to the buyers. To my surprise, as we were driving along with the bed in the back of our truck, I saw the springs, mattress, and bed frame fly out and land on the roadside. My husband and I stopped the truck and reloaded everything onto the back. But this time I sat in the middle of the mattress to make sure we secured the load. After we had unloaded the bed and begun our journey home, my husband and I started laughing. Sometimes we can’t believe the things I go through to sell real estate. Ruth Harsh Stamp Realty, Inc. Salem, Ohio I See an Investment in Your Future I spent one morning viewing investment properties with a prospect. Although we found a fourplex that met his investment criteria, he wouldn’t make a commitment, so we stopped at a Chinese restaurant for lunch and further discussion. We reviewed the reasons he had decided to invest, and I showed him how the property met his criteria. But still he waffled on the decision. On opening his fortune cookie, he found two fortunes inside: “You have an important new business development shaping up” and “Trust her, but still keep your eyes open.” He said, “Where do I sign?” Yes, I was ready with the contract and pen. Jill M. Parson Jill M. Parson Real Estate Anchorage,Alaska Full-Service Salesperson In this business we wear many different hats: counselor, dogcatcher, and baby-sitter, to name a few. Why not matchmaker? A few years ago, after showing innumerable houses to a nice young man, I declared, “No wonder you’re still a bachelor—you’re too fussy.” (I knew him well enough by then to make that observation.) Since he couldn’t find a house to his liking, I found him a vacant lot and told him to build the house he wanted. He built a huge colonial. While the house was still in the blueprint stages, he half jokingly informed me that my next assignment would be to find him a wife. Since he was the only customer who had ever sent me flowers in appreciation for my efforts, I knew he’d make someone a thoughtful husband. I introduced the buyer to one of my daughter’s single friends about a year ago and have just received an invitation to their wedding. Now colleagues say, “Be careful what you ask Marion for. You might get it!” Marion Manes Coldwell Banker—Murray Hyannis,Mass. Keep Grandma Away from Our House My two grandsons, who are six and ten, respectively, like to go with me to put up signs and photograph new listings. Recently, after I took some photos of new listings, I had one picture left in the camera. So I told my younger grandson that we’d take a picture of his home. He looked at me with disgust and said, “Oh, no!” Then it’ll be in the newspaper, and I know you’ll sell it!” Char Harvey Harvey, Noblitt & Arnold Real Estate Inc. Robinson, Ill. Don’t Count On That Commission I sell in a neighborhood that’s primarily a mix of yuppies and original owners, many of whom have lived in the area 50-60 years. One day while I was canvassing, an elderly woman and her two sisters opened their door, and we spoke for 10-15 minutes about the house and the neighborhood. They even invited me into their home. After about a half hour, I said I needed to be on my way. It had been nice talking with the women, though I knew they’d never sell their home. As I walked to my car, they called me back and said, “You’re such a nice young man, and we really enjoyed talking with you. We’ve decided to put your business card on top.” When I asked what that meant, one of the women took out a three-inch stack of salespeople’s business cards and said, “If we do sell, you’ll be the first person we’ll call.” So I’ve got that going for me. Joseph A. Caravette BBC Realty Inc. Chicago Breathe…Push…Sign My sister and I are both real estate practitioners. Early one morning, she called from a hospital and said she was trying to get a contract addendum signed by a buyer and a seller. She asked that I make some calls for her. In the middle of telling me whom to contact, she asked me to hold on. I heard a series of very loud deep breaths, and then my sister came back on the phone and said she was okay. I told her I’d make the calls. A short time later, my wife called and said my sister had given birth to a baby boy. When her son asks her to describe the day he was born, she can honestly say, “It was business as usual.” Mitch Swenson James S. Black & Co. Spokane, Wash. A One-Stop Shopper When I entered the business, my first prospect was an elderly woman who said she needed to relocate. But the showing was a let down—she would see only one house. And on top of that, she asked me to take her to the grocery store afterward. When I returned to the office, my colleagues asked, “How did it go? And which grocery store did you go to? Evidently, my “prospect” had a history with new salespeople. Whenever the local paper reported that our company had affiliated a new salesperson, she’d call for an appointment. And she’d always ask for a ride to the grocery store after looking at one house. I had just gone through the rite of passage for new salespeople. Mike Griffey Griffey & Associates Inc. Clarksville, Tenn. Prices Slashed for Buyers’ Brokers Before opening our exclusive buyer brokerage office, my partners and I needed to obtain our licenses. A city clerk waded through our paperwork. Puzzled, she asked us, “What’s a buyers’ broker?” We described our function, explaining that we didn’t take listings. And she replied, “You’re only a half broker, so you’ll pay only half the license fee.” What an unexpected savings! Dolores A. Bowker Buyer’s Resource Real Estate Fruitland Park, Fla. The Buyer Wigged Out As I walked a buyer through the backyard during a showing, her wig got caught on the branch of a tree—and she stood there bald. I choked back my laughter and said, “You—uh—lost your wig.” She grabbed the wig and plopped it back on her head as if nothing had happened. I’ll never forget that hair-raising accident. Karen A. Depilles Monica Realty Co. Elmwood Park, N.J. A Listing So Hot It Smokes My colleague, Bill, is also a fireman. While he was on duty one day, an alarm went off at the station. As he raced to the scene, he said, “That address sounds familiar.” When he got to the fire, Bill realized why he recognized the address—it was his new listing. Fellow firefighters never saw Bill work so hard to put out a fire. Rita Warrick Stovroff & Herman Niagara Falls, N.Y. A Dauntless Disabled Duo When customers recently entered our office, the salesperson doing floor time was recovering from a back operation. He was alternating between using a wheelchair and a walker. Although he quickly found some properties for the couple to visit, his handicap created an obvious problem. Another salesperson, who was recovering from throat surgery and could talk only in a whisper, volunteered to drive the other salesperson and the couple to the properties. As they left, we couldn’t help noting that “one can’t walk and the other can’t talk, but that doesn’t stop them!” Within ten days the buyers found a property, and the pair shared the commission at closing. Bob Cook Pam Bingemann Realty Inc. Neptune Beach, Fla. A Few Degrees Short of Six Degrees of Separation After placing an ad for salespeople, I received a call from a New York salesperson relocating to Florida. I sold him on my company and then on working with me to find a home for his family. We previewed several properties, and then he returned home to New York to sell his house. Coincidentally, at his open house, a prospective buyer said, “You’re moving to Florida? Have I got a real estate practitioner for you!” The prospective buyer then told him how wonderful I had been to his mother when she bought a home from me in Florida. Deborah Bacarella Realty Investment Specialists Boca Raton, Fla. Humor, next page > | |